Sunday, August 24, 2008

A day of being siblings...

It is always really good to have all of our kids in one single spot. It is when I feel the most content. Taylor is constantly wanting to spend time with his older sister and it is so nice to see that she and Spencer make time for him. He spent the afternoon with them yesterday. He had a great time. He is so disappointed that he has to go back to Portland today. He assumed since we got him last week for an extra day to catch him up on some medical appointments, that we would naturally get to keep him like that each week. It breaks my heart to tell him no.

Taylor was telling sis yesterday about his new home. (His transitional home through DD *disability* services) He said how afraid he is to go there. Oh, it just breaks my heart for him. I know that all of the changes are going to be really difficult for him as he, and others with his disorder, do not react well to change.

My hopes and dreams are still that he knows that none of this has to do with not loving him, but that we are doing this as we love him more than anything and need him to gain some of the living skills needed to get along in this world... just to get by even.

It really is difficult for me to know that there is going to be a day that I will not be here for him due to his special needs. I need to know in my heart that he will be able to care for himself somewhat. He might need additional services for that, but I would be failing him as a mother and as a parent if I did not try to accomplish those goals. It is hard enough to know you won't be there to be able to let them vent, or cry on your shoulder and things of that nature. However, not knowing he was able to cook something for himself safely, walk across the street safely *even if he is mad*, be able to get to work on time, knowing how to work and set his alarm clock and be responsible, and things of that nature.... you know... it would be really hard. I know that our girls will love him and visit him, help take care of him in a nurturing way, because that is how our girls are. I sometimes think how hard it would be if G leaves this earth before I do. Not only the biggest heart ache of my life, but I am so afraid of how my kids are going to hurt too. The girls love their dad so much also, and we would all need to go through that grieving process. However, poor Tay would have an awful time beyond anything. I just can't imagine it. It hurts my heart. It sounds so morbid to think of and it is, to be honest. However, when you see your child struggle with such small issues in life, death of someone that he truly loves with all his heart, that is going to be the worst devastation ever!

School starts soon. The paper work for his discharge is supposed to be around September 15th 2008. He has no idea about the vacation that we have diligently been working on to get him to the wish he gave his sister of going to Disneyland, and local attractions. Nearly $6,000 needed in five months is a challenge, that is for sure! Thanks for all the donations and help from our followers of this blog and everyone buying jerky and bake sale items.

A lot of people are writing and somewhat afraid to ask us a question about our son. We are more than happy to answer anything for you, or my daughter as she is more aware of some of the resources that she is coming up with. The resources on our page that google posts for us will lead to other resources also. That is the purpose of us posting them, to share our knowledge and wealth through all of this. We want people to be also aware that our son is a human being. He might have a disability, but he is a young man with thoughts and feelings. He wants friends, he wants to be accepted. He is not bad, but sometimes his choices are poor. (Many teens make poor choices without having a disability). We want people to know we love our son just the way he is, but strive to get him help for his future to be bright and hopeful.

We will be having a Krispy Kreme Doughnut sale in September, on the 21st of the month, and we will also have jerky available for sale near the Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. If you know of anyone interested in pre orders let me know. The cost of the doughnuts is $8 per dozen. Not much more than what the grocery stores now charge. All the profit will also go towards helping spread autism awareness and also finish up paying for his wish to get his whole family together for one last vacation to a place that he loves.

1 comment:

Jen said...

I actually think that my kids' bonds have become stronger since my son went to the group home. One of the reasons that he went was because he was hurting his siblings so badly, but it's been extremely rare that he's touched either of the girls in anger since he moved. Both of the girls get upset if we don't see him on his weekly visit, and it's incredible to see the bond that the 3 of them share.

Please keep your fingers crossed that we can get him inside the new house tonight- it's been almost a month since we've had a real visit with him, and we're all going a bit crazy.