Wednesday, June 25, 2008

When people go above and beyond what is expected....

So, many people don't understand about autism, especially if they have not lived around it their whole life. There are some people that when they hear that Taylor is autistic or has Asperger's Syndrome, they shun away, as they are afraid that they will say something wrong, or that they may have to witness something that is not comfortable. Some people just don't want to try to understand.

My daughter, Amanda, has been dating a young man named Spencer. They have dated for about a year or so. I think that Amanda had probably told him about her brother's needs, but I don't think that he really understood until he started to spend time at our family functions.

So, let's back up. When Taylor get frustrated and runs, or has a melt down.... life stops in our family. It can be for 5 minutes, it can be for 48 hours if Taylor runs and is gone for a couple of days. Immediately one of us calls the police to report a run away and one of us jumps in a car and start the long and grueling search for our son. It is horrifying. It is sad.... at the moment, all you are going on is total adrenaline and it just keeps you going, searching, and wanting to find our son.

Somewhere along the way, Taylor started to listen to his sister much more than he would listen to us. So, the call would always go to her also. Bless his heart, Spencer has dropped things again and again. It is odd to watch or think about. If Taylor sees our car or van, he will run harder, faster, further. If he sees Spence's jeep, he stops like a lost puppy dog and they open the door and he crawls in. Most guys would run from this... most guys would shun this. Spencer steps up to the plate and wants to mentor him. He wants to make a difference. He wants to understand.

Now, most guys would run from this.... especially when they are 23 years old and has a lot filling his life. Spencer has had his feelings hurt over Taylor's actions and behaviors because I don't think that he understood the magnitude of the disability. However, he has sat in hospital waiting rooms, emergency rooms, and has been up til wee hours of the morning staking out parking lots and combing the streets looking for Taylor when there has been another melt down.

This speaks volumes on someones ability to think outside the box. It speaks about the feelings in their heart.

Cheers to Spencer. I know that Taylor loves to hear from him and his sister when he is in the hospital. Sometimes words can't express the thankfulness in the heart. Thank you Spencer, from Taylor, and Taylor's mom and dad....

Autism Tip of the Day: The IAN project to learn and you can give info to help with autism research.


Jasmine said...

I am an 18 year old with asperger's. I found it very interesting as I also have these melt downs and run aways but I have never come across another of my condition that suffers them. If it is not to forward I would very like to hear more of this. Many thanks Jasmine. I can be contacted at my cousin's email address

Baking a wish said...

It is actually very common, so Jasmine, take security in, you are not alone. It can be different things to different people of course. However, for my son, it is he is unable to communicate to us that kids tease and ridicule him at school or people point out his differences. With that in mind, he puts on the, I don't care attitude in the beginning, but he can't stop fretting about it. Hours later, sometimes even days, he has a total meltdown as he is not able to communicate those feelings. He runs to not be able to deal with the feelings or being able to communicate the feelings. It is very disheartening to us as parents, as he is a very nice young man, his brain is just wired differently than mine. Each of us is unique in our own way, and I want you, and my son, and anyone else with this disability to just be proud of who you are. Social skills are very difficult for him also. He so wants friends but doesn't read cues well.

Be blessed Jasmine. If you feel alone, your parents are missing out. Are you sure you are not misreading a cue? Just make sure. If they want nothing to do with it, again, it is not your fault, it is not something that you can help.