Thursday, August 14, 2008

Come on Tay... keep it together buddy! You can do this!

Another day of horrible outbursts for Taylor. It just breaks my heart. He was doing so well. Each night at about this same time, he is having really bad outbursts at the center. This is the fourth night this week. This terrifies me. I am not sure if it is his medications or if it is the fact that his therapist has gone to a new job, or C) none of the above. All I know is that Taylor is regressing and this is not a good thing. I didn't sleep one wink last night, just sitting up worrying about him.

I am not sure if he will be able to come home tomorrow or not. I was looking forward to seeing him. I just wish I could understand, if for only one second, how his brain thinks. It is terrifying to me. I want to protect him from things that are going to hurt him. I want to protect him from himself. Just when he seems to have most of the rage under control, he regresses.

They say it is at the same time of night each night, so perhaps it has to do with meds. I am not sure what it is, but I just know I am him mom and I want nothing other than for him to be ok.


Casdok said...

I wish i could just give you a hug and say everything will be ok.
I hope Tay is able to come home for the weekend.

Jen said...

I wish that I had some great words of advice to give you- I know what it's like. My son's doing fantastically well at the moment, but we always go through huge regression periods every 18 months or so. Even though I know absolutely that he's in the best place that he can be, it still kills me when I can't be there to try to figure things out and comfort him, or when I hear him screaming for me over the phone.

You're not alone, and I hope that he can come home this weekend and that you get it figured out soon.

I'm sending hugs to you.